Stepping Out Of Our Comfort Zone

My last trip back in Singapore, was a quick one, but I managed to take my family to USS Sentosa. It was interesting, but we had to consider many things. We were a family of five, that comprises of one fifteen year old teenager, one thirteen year old boy with sensory issues and autism, and a little baby boy.

Having a son with autism, is always a challenge. As a parent I am sometimes guilty of looking at the cons rather than the pros. I want to change that and start looking at the positive. Every child is different, Ivan is special. He is a wonderful child, but has sensory issues, and autism, that he struggles with.

As his father, it is my duty to get him to explore as much as possible. Planning family outings used to be all about Ivan. But now we have a little one that we have to consider too. I wanted to bring the family to USS to enjoy the rides. So one of the biggest challenge with Ivan was to bring him for the 3D Transformer ride at USS. It is not easy and of course it was a great risk to take. Once, we were strapped in, we could not exit. Since, it was our first trip there, my wife suggested that we should not push Ivan, she is rather protective of him.

Since Ivan was a huge huge, fan of Shrek, my wife used that to ease in the outing.

While I was getting us tickets, my wife got Ivan some Shrek merchandise.

My elder son and I went for the 3D Transformer ride and it was awesome. I wanted to bring Ivan too, but after a discussion with my wife, I decided that we would prepare Ivan with this trip first. So I brought him to watch the Shrek 4D show instead. It was to get him to understand the graphic and movements in a 3D atmosphere. Ivan was a little unprepared in the beginning but as the show went on I notice him enjoying the new experience, by reaching out for the scene, as he watched in 3D.

Our first trip was a success, and I believe we had laid the foundation for the 3D ride.  So this time, when I returned to Singapore, we took another trip down to USS, Sentosa. I brought a bigger group of family reinforcements this time.

I was very determined that this time I was going to get Ivan onto the 3D ride. My wife asked me why I was so sure, I told her I just knew it. I had a gut feeling that he was ready for the 3D ride. It was a gamble I wanted to take. I spoke to him continuously about the ride. I ensured him that I was going to be with him all the way. I held him close throughout the whole ride, in order for him to feel protected and comforted. Although, he was afraid, he was able to watch the whole show and completed the ride.

Hurray, I was so happy that Ivan had made it. It was a huge achievement for our family. I pushed him and he excelled. I was so thrilled, that I wanted to share it with other parents my experience too.

As parents, we know our children best, but sometimes, we underestimate their strength and focus on their shortcomings. Let's step aside, and encourage them to grow.

I wish to share a few tips from my experience.

1. remove the fear from your heart before embarking on a new experience

2. know that it's not going to be easy, so take it easy if it doesn't go as planned

3. have prior conversations with your child about the new experience you have planned

4. pick a time that is off-peak so that you will have less people and less waiting time

5. bring along a "safety blanket" for your child

6. if your child is afraid of loud sounds, bring along ear mufflers

7. hold on and physically, assure your child as much as you can

8. if at first it doesnt go as planned, try again when you feel your child is ready

I hope my expreince has encouraged you to try new things with your child too.

by Peter Gomez

Pretend Play

You may be surprised to know that not all children are into pretend play. It can be challenging to a child with special needs, say autism, to engage in pretend play. They live in a very tangible world. Anything that is abstract is almost incomprehensible for her. 

Will they ever be able to pretend?

What is important about it? And why do children pretend?

"one reason children pretend is that it helps them make sense out of the world. As children play and replay familiar events, they understand them better."

 

credits 

The ever famous, pretend play would be the Teddy Bear Tea Party. The child is usually the hostess, while the stuff animals, teddy bears and dolls, attend as guests. Usually, pretend play starts off with a food theme, since it is an everyday encounter for a child. The act of eating, preparing of the food, serving, and eventually hosting of a party, are stages they evolve from.

When you play hostess at your party, you are also a role model for your child. She watches you and learns what you serve and how you handle the party. In turn, she will fantasize it and re-enact it, how she sees it, through her eyes.

As pretend play emerges, a child is about two years old, it will help the child make sense of the world around her. "As children become familiar with a specific imaginary theme, they begin to recognize, at least in that limited context, the difference between reality and fantasy."

If your child is challenged with pretend play, give it time. She will eventually get there. After a long wait, Ivan now pretend play, very well. He has story telling and narration to go with it as well.

Book: Your Child At Play: Two to Three Years by Marilyn Segal, Ph.D.