PSLE Results???

Today, here in Singapore the PSLE results were out. I chanced upon the statues updates on Facebook by my friends, and that's when I realized something. Should Ivan still be in the mainstream, he would be awaiting his results too. That would have been an awesome milestone.

But I have no regrets. Ivan is doing well, where he is right now. He is blossoming at his own pace and we are very proud of him. This year Ivan received three honorary awards and a fat cheque too. Looking back, I would not have change anything about his journey. He is where is should be. Academically challenged but emotionally happy and has such a joyful outlook towards life.

His future to me, is a huge question mark. But I know that at every turn, God goes before us and has the door held open for us. In faith, we take the next steps...

Snippets - Rest & Relax

"Downtime is key, for both you and your child. We lay out many options for therapies and activities in this book, but do remember to take a breather now and then. A little R and R from the battle is important."

- 1001Tips For The Parents Of Autistic Girls, Tony Lyons

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Announcement

I have been so busy lately, with our move, that I hardly have time to blog and share. Lots are happening these days and I will share as soon as I get the chance. In this post, I wish to share something with all of you. Before, I started Ripplezblue, I was busy "baking up" diaper cakes and hampers (Hartwarmers), that I created from home. My business was a doing well, and I enjoyed every master piece, I made. But with the introduction of our latest bundle of joy, I was faced with a problem. I could no longer hand deliver these precious creations. That put a very long pause on my business. Not wanting to let it go, I shelved it for a couple of months. In the meantime, I started Ripplezblue, for me to work on from home. It was something, for me, my outlet.

Getting to the point, somewhere in July this year, I heard that my sister was looking to expand her online party store. She was in search of a creative personnel. So we discussed the possibilities of merging my gifts with her party supplies, and it was seem to be promising. We took baby steps into getting this new venture to suit both our styles and talents. After months of discussion and planning, we started it off and had a picnic cum outdoor photo shoot on 1st October 2013. It was a success and I am glad to share with you, that the best is yet to come. 

I would be shifting to my new home (and my new office) in about a weeks time. I am looking forward to sharing much more with you from there.

Do check out our store at http://beautifulrevelry.com/

Raspberry Love

Today, I introduced little Iggy to raspberries. He loved it and I am so glad that I started his diet with fruits and vegetables first, rather than rice. Here's a bowl of fresh raspberries.

Here, it is pureed and mixed with healthy four grain organic cereals.

 

It is an overall, very healthy and great tasting naturally. 

Try it and see your baby grow healthy and love food in its most natural form.

Snippets - Get Down & Dirty

"Down and dirty. All kids need a chance to be carefree and playful. Let her run around and make a mess in a sandbox or dirt; deal with the mess later."

- 1001Tips For The Parents Of Autistic Girls, Tony Lyons
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NO Expectations, NO Disappointments

Here, is a cute picture I found, recently, Ivan was Christmas shopping we us at Compass point that Christmas. My little Prince with this crown, yes, I am one of those mums that allows my kid to wear a crown since he likes it. And to get him to feel comfortable, I would wear one along with him. Many people, have told us that they had no clue that Ivan had autism. Today, things look normal and fine, but years ago... that was not the case.

When I discovered that autism was invading Ivan's life, I guess, I had to deal with not only my own set of expectations but also those of our extended family members. I always thought that when push comes to shaft, I would turn to family for support and strength. I never realized that Peter and I was all alone on  this journey.

When we had our first born entered our lives, we felt so blessed. Both our families chipped in and helped us out always. He was a typical child and life was good. But when they found out on Ivan's condition, the

found it hard to understand him. He was seem as a child with a defect.

It was a very emotional time for me. I was sad. I was angry. I was confused. All I knew was that I was struggling and I needed help. Peter was struggling too, in his own way. There was an invisible tension and a huge gap between us. We knew we were there for each other and loved each other, but we both understood, that we needed to grief privately. At that point in time, I was angry with them for not being supportive. But now, I have grown and I understand that their ignorance got the better of them. Peter, taught me a valuable lesson, "Never expect too much from anyone, that way they cannot disappoint you."

Some professionals we met told us that, we should make an effort to talk to our extended families to get them to understand. I tired that, but it didn't really help. We were only starting to understand what autism was, and unless they wanted too, we would take a long time to explain stuff to them. Time that we could use to help Ivan instead.

Bread And Butter

It's been some time now, that Ivan has been making his breakfast  all by himself. I had to step it up when I became pregnant with Iggy. I wanted Ivan to be independent and not depend on me for his basic needs. So ever since day one, he had chosen two slices of bread with a load of Nutella, an overload actually.

 

We all love to have fresh white Gardenia bread, but wanting to eat more healthy, I sometimes mix it up. Expecting Ivan, to react to the change in bread, I was surprised, when he didn't react. He simply opened the wholemeal bread from the packaging and served himself two slices. From there, I explored with other brands too. It was progressing well but the Nutella had to stay as his constant. 

So every morning he would have made himself two slices of Nutella sandwiches. This morning, however, I was totally taken by surprise, when I found him having bread and butter. It was an beautiful surprise, he was trying out new things and this was just another example.

He opened the fridge and took out the butter...

Then he spread loads onto the bread and enjoyed it for breakfast. And this, was a new treat for me. I am so excited and scared at the same time, to see what new experiences are to come.

Packing Up

The Gomez's are moving, we have considered many pros and cons, and found that it was time for us to move into a bigger place. With the addition of Iggy into our lives and the new projects that we are looking into, we will need a bigger venue to hold the gatherings that we are planning. 

Having lived in the North for so many years, I know we will miss much as we move to Central Singapore. I know I will miss the wonderful cool breeze and the park I run in every morning for the past few years. Not forgetting the playgrounds, my first two boys tumbled and scraped their knees on, in their toddler years. The beach that was near home and the shopping malls around us. But with improvement comes change, and that change needs delicate balance, especialy for Ivan.

In order to get Ivan on board with the move, I decided to get him to pack up with us. It was so adorable! He packed up all his CDs and DVDs, into mini boxes and did an inventory for each box too.

Involving your child into such transitions are very important. It helps them anticipate the move and have some control on the situation. Just like us, children don't like to feel helpless and vulnerable. They want to know what is to come next and how they can be in control of their surroundings.

When we viewed the place we were buying, we actually asked Ivan which room he preferred and thankfully, both brothers chose different rooms, making it easier for us.

Ivan also gets to choose his furniture and fittings. The paperwork and sale of the property, is almost done and we are getting ready for the transition. I pray a gets on smoothly. I will update you guys, on Ivan's journey into our new home.

Snippets - Emotions

"As a parent, you did not choose to have a boy with autism. However, you can choose how you are going to react and what you are going to do about it. The first step is to acknowledge the emotions you are feeling. Realize that all parents go through these emotions- they are real and unavoidable. These emotions have been likened to the five stages of grief that a person goes through when faced with the death of a loved one. In this case, your son is still here, but what you are mourning is the loss of your expectations, of everything you had hoped and dreamed for with the birth of your son. The second step is learning all you can to help your child recover or reach his full potential"

1001 Tips For The Parenting Of Autistic Boys by Ken Siri

Chantal Sicile-Kira, www.chantalsicile-kira.com

It's Time For A Shirt

It's always outings after outings when my husband gets back in the country for a break. The kids miss him much and want their one to one time alone with him, as much as myself. 

As of late, I have noticed an interesting new thing going on with Ivan. He has been only picking out long sleeve shirts from his shelf, to wear each time we go out. Ivan used to only wear sleeveless t-shirts when he was young, as he had sensory issues. Then we transitioned into the normal short sleeve t-shirts and stayed there for many years. 

The long shelved shirts came much much later on his life. They wear kept for special occasions. But as of this month, most of our outings have been interestingly, attended with a casual smart attire, for Ivan. 

We are glad to see him make changes in his routines and its refreshing to see him try new things.

This one is a very old shirt, which I was surprised, that he could still fit into it.

Here's the same shirt, we wore to church.

And here it is again with a shirt as we head out for pancakes.

Snippets - Let's Play

"Make time for fun. A child coping with autism is still a kid. For both autistic children and their parents, there needs to be more to life than therapy. Find ways to play and have fun together. Don't obsess over whether or not these activities are therapeutic or educational. The important thing is to enjoy your child's company!"

- 1001Tips For The Parents Of Autistic Girls, Tony Lyons

Reprinted with permission from Helpguide.org. See

www.helpguide.org/mental/autismhelp.htm

for additional resources and support.

Blueberries For Little Bub

Berries are a good choice to feed your little ones with. They are bursting with nourishment. It's berry day for little Iggy today. Mama bought blueberries for him to enjoy, although she doesn't fancy them too much.

Wonderful balls of antioxidants.

 

Puréed to perfection for little Iggy to have for lunch.

Now I mix in a little bit of organic cereal that has the blueberry flavor in them.
Feeling nostalgic, as it looks like my favourite childhood dessert - Pulut Hitam.

What does Iggy think of it?

I little sour I guess. But it's alright.

 Happy eating!

Clumsy Child Syndrome

Ever heard of such a Syndrome? Not me. It sounds so strange.

As kids grow up and learn how to manipulate their gross motor skills, they learn how to move around. Some kids are just more clumsy than others. But should there be any concern?

"CCS is obviously more than a child's striking out in a baseball game or every once in a while tripping over his or her own feet- it is about a pervasive and negatively impacting lack of coordination."

 

"Also known as DD or DCD (developmental coordination disorder) or, as the DSM calls it, specific developmental disorder of motor function, CSS is a learning disorder (different than an LD, learning disability) that involves the involves the impairment of movement, although it can involve language, spatial, and thought problems as well. It is often considered a closely related disorder to SID (sensory integration disorder) and NLD (nonverbal learning disorder) and its often diagnosed as such, or vice versa.

Dyspraxia, which is the defining characteristic of CCS, is the difficulty with the entire sequence of a sensory-motor task from initiating it, planing it out, and then carrying  it out."

- Alphabet Kids: From ADD to Zellweger Syndrome by Robbie Woliver 

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Sweets And Health

Being a mum is a very challenging full time job. One with no retirement, seriously! Sometimes, as busy mums, we all cheat our stomachs with sweets when we get hungry.

I ask of you ladies, try not to do so. I have done so, for too many a times. I always have an excuse to do what I do. But as I mature and started reading more on health, I realized what a grave mistake I was making. Thank God, I never got any illness due to that.

It is very, very important that we take good care of ourselves for the sake of our children. I was surprised to find out that our bodies are so intelligent, that it can actually think for itself. Did you know that when you eat regularly, the body stores only a small portion for later, as compared to when you have irregular meals, your body stores more fat. Think about it, when you are not eating regularly, your body fears of when the next replenishment will be, thus, it stores more. Should you eat regular meals the body sees the consistency. Well, to me, that is a pretty smart body we have there. So the next time you skip a meal and stuff down a candy bar, out of convenience, think again. Sweet foods with refined sugars can help you for a while, but what they do is actually raise your blood sugar. Then when you hit a 'brain fog' your blood sugar levels drop and you end up with a negative effect. Such as mood swings, irritability, loss of attention.

To avoid this, I always have little packets of oatmeal cookies in my handbag. I literally look for the ones that are pre-packed with two or three pieces. This way, I don't have to worry if I can't stop for a meal. Running from therapy sessions to work and then for check ups can be very time consuming, and the last thing you want to do is, to look for a healthy place to eat. (me, I would rather kick off my shoes and slouch on the sofa as I relax from a tiring day)

So ladies, the next time you find yourself in a time crunch, reach for a granola bar and some orange juice. Take care of yourself, your children deserve the best of you.

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Snippets - Acceptance

"Accept and love your child for who he is. Rather than focusing how your autistic child is different from other children and what he or she is 'missing' focus on what makes your child happy. Enjoy your kids special quirks, celebrate small success, and stop comparing your child to others - developmentally challenged or not."

Book: 1001Tips For The Parents Of Autistic Boys, Ken Siri

- www.helpguide.org/mental/autism_help.htm

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Did Your Child Tell A Lie?

Many atimes, when a toddler tells you something that is other than the truth, we think that he is telling a lie. Look at it another way, could your child think that he is telling you the truth. The truth that to him happened in his fantasy? Children tend to have a hard time differentiating between fantasy and reality. That be said, see the depth of the situation, is the truth too far fetched or otherwise. Sit your child down, and explain. Ask your child questions such as 

• When did this happen?
• Where did it happen?
• Was anyone else there?
• What did you do after that?
• Are you sure you did not imagine/ dream about this?

The answers to these, should give you a vague idea as to where the truth is coming from. Children can be manipulative to get your attention, support and love. But they are not devious, to scheme lies. The next time, you think your child told a lie, give him the benefit of the doubt, and assess the situation first.

If you are caregiver or teacher, never label a child a liar. Always look into the situation, see if the children understands the difference between fantasy and reality.

"Another sign that children are distinguishing between reality and fantasy is the use of the word "pretend". Parents who introduce a word like "pretend" as they play with their two-year-olds usually find that their children pick up the term quickly. Once the two-year-old is familiar with the term, it becomes easier to discuss situations in which the difference between reality and fantasy is unclear. Imaginary thinking has both the power and limitations. It can create a powerful imaginary experience, but not directly change the real world. As children play out a variety of themes, and as parents talk to them about their pretending, children begin to appreciate this paradox."

Resources: Your Child At Play: Two to Three Years by Marilyn Segal, Ph.D.
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Snippets - Fever

"For fevers over 101 degrees Fahrenheit, treat with a tepid bath or dye free ibuprofen. Fevers, while nerve wracking for new parents, are the response of a healthy immune system reacting to kill off an invading virus through heat."

- "Avoiding Autism" by Anju Usman, MD and Beth C. Hynes, JD, MBA,

The Autism File, Issue 31, 2009.

I chose to share this snippet, since my little Iggy has been under the weather, as he is teething. I used to rush to the doctors when my elder two were babies, but now, I choose to be a little patient and try to turn to the medications, only when I should.

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Too Young For Compassion?

I would love to say that my sister and I are best of friends. We say that I am from the 70's and she is from the 80's. While I was experimenting with Cover Girl, she was playing with crayons. So, as much as we wanted to be in sync, our age brought different interest for each of us. We lead very separate lives, me married and settled down, while she having the time of her life. We only came to find common ground when she embraced motherhood. Finally, we were on the same page. Now, with my third boy, we are able to have play dates together and share a common interest.

She wrote this article to share with all of you out there, her experience with my Ivan. I hope you see yourself in her situation, and step up to help anyone you know, who needs it. She was young and wasn't informed, but you have a chance, learning from our experiences. Make that difference.

"Did becoming an aunt affect how you felt about having children? I was just "too young to care" when I first became an aunt at 16. I had my life ahead of me, and besides it seemed like my sister and my parents - who were first time grandfolks had everything under control.

Control however is an illusion, as I've come to learn after becoming a mother myself. That control slipped right out of my sister's grasp when her second child began displaying signs of regression. "Autism" they called it. I don't quite recall who told me about it, or when I discovered he had it. When I did, it hit me like a storm. How could such a thing happen to us? Barely, and adult, I was under the illusion that we were the 'perfect family' - everything always went according as planned.

He was after all, very special to me. The second child, the shadow of the first. I saw much of myself in him. The first infant who I was allowed to carry, nuzzle, and was old enough to fee and care for. Unknown to me at that time, I had developed a special place in my heart for him.

We didn't have Wikipedia, or much knowledge of Autism back then. All I knew was that my sister would occasionally invite me to follow along for his therapy sessions, or to mind him when she had errands to run. I knew he was changing. Gone were the cuddling days. The next couple of years brought along a typhoon that rip through my idealist image of motherhood.

To make matters worse, my mother's take on his condition aggravated me. Call it lack of education, or perhaps she was lost in a state of ignorance. I found her 'coping' tactics to be utterly inhumane. From rapping tables to get his attention, to stuffing him with food so he'd sit quietly - she, in my opinion, ripped him off his granted childhood everytime opportunity presented itself. We had plentiful of arguments over this where she'd end the conversation by telling me to mind my own business.

Then there are the expected stares, rude remarks, and frightened glances I watched my sister go through - on top of everything else that was bearing down on her. I didn't know how to help. We weren't the huggy sort of family, so enveloping them in a bear hug might not have worked that well.

I eventually moved on with life, and got too busy for family. With the exception of occasions and celebrations, I rarely spent much time with my nephew. He is very much a teenager now- in both size and behaviour. Looking back, there are many things I wish I had done. Why did I not try harder to socialize more with him? Autism, is after all a social disorder. Could I have put in a more conscious effort to shower him with love? Perhaps read up on Autism to learn what are ways I could have taught him essential skills?

The idealist in me thrives on love, while the logical me knows I can't go back and change things, neither can I baby the now-teenage nephew of mine. I still don't know how can I help him. What I do know is that he will always have my respect, love, and acceptance. I don't see him any different from  the rest of my family, despite the society carefully and di0plomaticaly labelling him as a person with 'special needs'. Perhaps the society is right. he is special. He is a human being who isn't afraid to hug someone when they're feeling down, or flash a wide grin when he catches you looking at him, or pat a crying child.

Indeed, in times such as these where stress, hate and anger dictates the media and our minds- my nephew is very very special."

Thanks Ann for your sharing with us.

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My Persistent Boy

Holidays can be tough on kids who need a constant routine. Parents like me, are always stressed out when the holidays begin, as we need to occupy our kids, and deal with the fuss on the change of routine. And if your child is as persistent as mine, trust me you need a holiday. Here, a snap shot at how the June holidays began for me.

It's a Wednesday morning, into the wee hours of the morning. I had just finished feeding Little Iggy and have started to prepare breakfast for the boys to go off to school. For Ivan, it would be the last day of school.

Upon waking him up, I realized that he seem to be in a bad mood. He had proceeded to brush his teeth, but kept walking in a daze. I told him that he had to wash his face, but he kept walking back to the bedroom ignoring me. He never does that. That's when I realized that he was looking too sleepy for anything.

I had sent him to bed early but, I don't really know what time he had settled down. I used to check on him regularly before, but now with baby, I am exhausted. Looking at him, I knew he was in no condition to go anywhere.

I sent him off to bed, and my heart sank. This would mean that for Ivan the school holidays had begun. His school was having a camp the next two days, which Ivan was not attending, so here we go!

El off to school and Ivan back in bed, I decided to crawl back under the sheets again. But just then, Ivan gets up and says that he wants to go to school.

I told him the bus had left and he could go back to school. But he was not listening, now he was insisting on going to school. I hate days like these. They never go well for me and they seem to go on forever.

I send Ivan back to bed again, turned on the aircon to make it cozy for him, but no, he comes out again asking to go to school.

Finally, I told him that I did not want to be disturbed. And that I would talk to him at 9am. The good thing is, with Ivan once you give him a time to get back to him, he will wait and come back to you later. But he will come back and you have to follow through with the "appointment".

Sometimes, it's the little things like this that drain you...

Snippets - Gluten Free Diet

"Changing your child's diet is one or perhaps the most significant thing you can do to impact your child's health. The Gluten-Free/ Casein Free (GF/CF) diet is the most popular, we suggest removal  of soy as soy has similar properties to casein. Beyond this, the specific carbohydrate (SCD) Diet has been effective for those children who did not respond sufficiently to the GF/CF."

- Ken Siri author of 1001 Tips For The Parents Of Autistic Boys

There are many recipes you can find nowadays on a gluten free diet. Your child does not have to necessarily miss out on traditional snacks. C is for cookie, and cookie is one of my favourites. Your kids can enjoy cookies too, even with a gluten free diet, try these. 

click here for the recipe

Gluten Free Diet

We asked for you to share on gluten free diets, and here's what our dear friend shares...

click here for recipe

One thing I noticed about children with gluten free diet, their diet is quite strict, and also includes no artificial sugars, and for those children who have ADHD, and attention related problems, I did notice a difference in them, they are more focused, have better memory retention, and more importantly, are less tendency to keep running around.

However it depends per child cos sometimes parents opt for other therapies together with gluten free diet, and some of the therapies include changing cleansing and detoxing the body also.There are good effects but also not so good effects.Good affects are observed when at certain phases, the child is quite calm and focused, happy and attentive and less hyperactivity, but the not so good effects are the child at certain phases may get easily upset and frustrated and resort to throwing things or hitting others to vent frustrations.This seems to happen particular when other therapies are used with gluten free diet.I did also observe over a long period of time, generally the gluten free diet does seem to help the child with skin problems, less skin reactions and skin appears more healthy.These are my two cent worth of thoughts.Hope others can share their observations and others who have used with their child don't mind sharing successful diets they use with their children to help other kids. Have a blessed Tuesday all!

That big thank you to Olivia who shared her thoughts with us. 

Should you have something to share, do drop us an email ripplezblue@gmail.com.

Have a great day all.

 

Snippets - News of Diagnosis

Snippets of this week - News of Diagnosis

"There are certain historical events that greatly impact the world, and all people grieve and acknowledge together the feelings they share. Events such as the terrorist attacks on 9/11, or the day that President John F. Kennedy was assassinated, or the day that Princess Diana was killed in a car accident in Paris; you never forget where you were when you found out about these events. The day you receive the news of your child's diagnosis is just as traumatic; the only difference is, no one else is sharing your pain. The people you pass on the street have the same life they had an hour ago, but yours has changed forever."

-Chantal Sicile-Kira, www.chantalsicile-kira.com

The world seems to go on, but your life is forever changed. The only thing you can do is to embrace it and live life. Keep moving forward for your kids sake and because you deserve any amount of happiness you can find along the way.

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Introducing Snippets

Hello all!

We are so happy that you are following us as we move along, this journey. We are very glad that as of late, we have a couple of new followers on our page.

In line with adding new things on our blog, Snippets is one of them. We will be adding a new section called Snippets, it will be short captions that are from different resources, for you to ponder on. So we hope you like it.

Parfaits To Enjoy

So, after sharing on Parfaits, I just could not help myself. I found these awesome recipes from these ladies' wonderful blogs. You must try this one, your kitchen will be smelling wonderful after a fresh batch of baked granola. 

click here for Jessica's recipe

click here for Joana's recipe

click here for recipe

This one is a little more work but it so perfect for parties, won't you say?

In the end for parfaits actually anything goes. What ever you fancy can be the ingredients. When whenever you fancy, you can enjoy one. So I hope you enjoy making a the parfaits as much as I did.

Parfaits To Start Your Day With

What's a Parfait you ask? - It's filled with a things yummy.

Here are a few recipes and links that tell you how to assemble them. Do try them and enjoy!

check out this parfaits recipe

check out Marla's recipe

Beautiful Berries

Berries have wonderful nutritional value, they have "high levels of phytochemicals — those naturally occurring nutrients that help protect cells from damage". Here are just some of the reasons why you should have berries in your diet.

• Berries keep you mentally sharp
• Berries help manage diabetes
• Berries might prevent Parkinson's
• Berries could boost heart health
• Berries for weight control
• Berries for low blood pressure
• Fight Cancer with berries
• Berries to help prevent Alzheimer's
• Berries help with urinary tract infections  

To read more on these, check out the link below.

Today, I introduced little Iggy to the world of berries. I pureed a batch of frozen blueberries for him. Nervous about the outcome, I fed him his first mouthful of pureed blueberries and watched.... he loved it, yeah! Do note that berries should not be introduced to babies too early. Iggy is now eight months and is ready for new types of food and fruits. 

Mamas, berries are great for you too. They have a high fiber and liquid content and helps us feel full for a while. This means you can stay slim by adding berries into your diet. Parfaits are a great way to add berries and nuts into your diet, as you start your day with a healthy breakfast.

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credits for pictures
Resources:
http://www.everydayhealth.com/diet-nutrition-pictures/amazing-health-benefits-of-berries.aspx#/slide-1

Quick Check: Autism

When a baby is born, parents feel like they are in a place that is magical. We wrap our arms around them and hold them close to. We look down onto their adorable faces and dream into their beautiful eyes. 

But sometimes, things go wrong, sometimes those beautiful eyes, are slow to make eye contact. That is an alarm that should get your guard up.

Sometimes, you just don't have hours to read through pages and pages for a check list. Here's a quick list to look at if you are in a hurry. Flags that go up to check for signs of the presence of autism.

• child has little or no eye-contact
• child does not respond to his name by 12 months
• child does not babble or coo by 12 months
• child does not gesture or point by 12 months
• child does not say a single word by 16 months
• child had a loss of language or loss of social skills at any age
• also should the child have a sibling who is on the spectrum, do watch them closely 

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 Book:1001 Tips For The Parenting Of Autistic Boys by Ken Siri

Speech Language Disorder- Part 3

So in continuation with the Speech Language Disorders here is DLD.

Do you find that your child's peers are already chattering away and your little darling is still struggling to speak his mind? Should you be concerned? Talk to your child's teacher to check about his communication skills in
school. You may also want to do a checklist against the milestones for your child's age. So what is DLD?

"DLD (developmental language disorder)- when a child's language skills do not appropriately relate to his or her age, the child is regarded as being language disordered or delayed. This can be caused by numerous factors including environmental ones, being hearing impaired, cognitive disabilities caused by physical injuries or malfunctions, and suffering from syndromes such as PDD (pervasive developmental disorder). Because of the nature of language and what is expected at different stages of childhood, a child can lose one type of delay or disorder and in a few years develop a new one. Children with delayed language can even, and often, end up meeting the milestones of their peers, but others with more serious disorders often continue to fall behind. Early intervention is the key."

I hope that this passage gives you a better idea on what to look out for in your child, and as mentioned early intervention is key to helping your child.

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Book: Alphabet Kids: From ADD to Zellweger Syndrome by Robbie Woliver  

I Am So Tired

The alarm goes off, and a new day begins. I know I have to get up to settle the boys, but I am just so tired. Tired from the million things that I have to do from dawn to dusk, and then redo it all over again. There are aches and pains that once meant something, now they seem to be a daily occurrence, that I don't have time to entertain.

There is a reason why they used to say, it takes a village to bring up a child. Trying to be that village, will only wear you out. Life can be very unpredictably challenging at times, I do get so angry but then I realize that it's just no use. Even being angry drains my energy.

And so my morning begins with, breastfeeding, the little one. Then eating, as that makes you hungry. Followed by getting up the boys for school. Ensuring that Ivan follows the schedule that is prepared for him. Oh, and then there are another thousand other things. Anyone who says that being a homemaker, is having a good life, obviously haven't tried it. 

I know writing, amongst a few other things, helps me relax and take a breather, thus, this entry. So now I must return to forever-work-land, where I am needed.

Good morning all, wish the day is a good one for all.

Do You Want To Make A Difference?

Every now and then, I have my sister and nephew over for tea. This time we had a rather interesting conversation. I was concerned that I was not reaching out to the number of people I had planned to, and discussed it with her. She had a few valid points that I would look into. In conclusion, I told her something that I wish to share with you all too.

Say you are a young, first-time mum and you have certain concerns about your child's development. Sure you can Google it and fine lots of information and resources on the internet. But would you not rather, have a local site that you can check. One that is not trying to sell you something, or make you sign a package for? Would you not rather, like to read up on what other mothers have gone through, to see where you stand, and decide should your child need help? Say, your child doesn't have any major concerns but hasn't talked yet at the age you feel he should be? Would you not want to know, how the procedure would go? How much these tests would costs? That's what we are providing here at Ripplezblue. We are creating awareness and trying to help families that need them.

Information and experiences shared on our blog, can remain anonymous, should you choose to be. We are all helping each other along this journey. Some of us new comers, while others have been on the journey long enough, to help us look out for nooks and cracks along the way. As we come together to cheer each other along, lend a helping hand and to comfort each tear, we are building a better environment for our children. Our children need us to make the difference. Be their advocate, speak for them. I am very passionate about it, as I am a mother on a mission. What about you?

Plans For The Future

It's time to edit, cut and paste. We started Ripplezblue to reach out and to help raise awareness for special needs within the public.

Things have been going great so far. We have reached out to many mothers and teachers, (must try to reach a couple of dad's at least). Many wonderful people have shared their stories with us too. Some shared openly, others choose to remain anonymous, regardless, the fact remains their experience shared, is to help others.
 

We have started out a promotion, where the best story written in will be given a gift, you can check that out, under the Events.

Also, we have adopted a project at St. Andrew's Autism School, and are eager to see it fulfill its potential.

In order to reach out to more people, we will be adding regular blog articles, weekly. We ask that if you like what you read, please help us share on facebook to reach out to more people.

We have lots of things planned out for the future, to mention one would be a parent's support group.

In line with new things, we have sought out a new place to move by year's end. The Gomez's will be moving to a bigger place to accommodate more meetings, and gathering for parents to meet for tea and draw strength from one other. In the mean time, my study is a big mess with all the boxes and bubble wrap due to all the packing. But I wish it would look as neat as this. With a house full of boys and a new baby, I can only dream that my study would be this neat.

Am off to do more research...

Childhood Apraxia And It's Myths

There are many myths and old wife's tales when it comes to bringing up children. I am  pretty sure that you must have heard your fair share of tales too. It just gets a little harder when you are challenged with a child having special needs.

Here are some of their wisdom, that they may wish to share with you:

• Einstein was a late-taker.
• Some very bright children won't talk because they are bored with "baby talk".
• He'll talk when he has it all perfected in his mind.
• He just doesn't have anything to say.
• You (or big sister) do all of the talking for him.
• He has all of his needs met and doesn't "need" to communicate.
• He'll talk when something really interests him, or he really wants something.

So do you think that your chis is a"Late-Taker?"

According to Becca Jarzynski, a pediatric speech-language pathologist and blogger of Child Talk (www.talkingkids.org), "If a child reaches 24 months and isn't yet using 50 words and/or isn't yet putting two words together into short phrases (e.g., "more juice," "bye mama"), we typically recommend that (parents) talk to their pediatrician about an evaluation by a speech-language pathologist."

• What does the child understand?
• Can he follow a wide variety of directions?
• Find objects when Mom and Dad ask him to do so?
• Point to pictures in a book?
• Show off some body parts when they are named?
• Follow silly directions like "put a cup on your head?"

• How he is communicating with gestures and facial expressions? 
• Is he nodding and shaking his head no?
• Pointing at things that he wants or that interest him?
• Waving "hi" and "goodbye?"
• Clapping with delight? 

• How he is using the words he does have? 
• Is he using them appropriately?
• Does he have inflection in the right places?
• Can he articulate well?

• What kinds of sounds is he using?
• Does he uses his voice to get attention?
• Does he vocalize often throughout the day?
• Did he babble often as a baby?
• Does he use his voice in a way that sounds like he having a conversation, even if there are no real words involved in that conversation? (At 24 months, for example, a child should be using a variety of sounds such as p, b, m, n, t, d, h, and w- and using them in a variety of words.)

• How is he playing?
• Does he use pretend play in some very simple ways?
• For example, does he give a bottle to a baby, or feed a stuffed bear with a spoon? 
• Is he able to play simple rolling or fetching ball games with others, and starting to imitate housework?

• How does he imitate actions? 
• Will he clap when an adult does?
• Does he imitate stacking blocks?
• Will he imitate you if you do something silly and unexpected, like place a block on top of your head? 

•  How is he hearing?
• Any concerns with hearing should be evaluated to rule out a hearing loss. 
• Some kids can hear some sounds but not others.

What's a Parent to do?

If you are faced by ignorant loved-ones, or insensitive people, here are a few ways to go around it graciously, so you spare misunderstandings:

• He's takes a while to warm up
• Not all our kids develop the same, right?
• I am grateful, that he is quiet and manageable, at this age.
• He's quiet, just like his dad, men of a few words.
• Gosh, really, you think I should be concerned? What do you recommend?

I am sure you can find your own way of brushing them aside. Try not to offend them if you possibility can, you will need a good support system as your child grows and you may need to depend on them. Their ignorance is what's making them misunderstand. If you have the patience, try to fill them in, on what's going on in your child's life. Having more loved ones, is only going to be beneficial to your child.

credits for picture

Book: Speaking of Apraxia by Leslie A. Lindsay, R.N., B.S.N.

Childhood Apraxia Also Known As...

So far I share shared a bit on childhood Apraxia. Here's a list of other names, it is known by.

• Developmental Dyspraxia
• Developmental Verbal Dyspraxia
• Developmental Aphasia
• Developmental Apraxia of Speech
• Dyspraxic Dysarthria
• Verbal Apraxia
• Oral Verbal Apraxia
• Development Verbal Apraxia
• Childhood Aphasia
• Executive Aphasia
• Congenital Articulatory Aphasia
• Dilapidated Speech
• Articulatory Apraxia
• Articulatory Dyspraxia
• Phonetic Disintegration
• Afferent Motor Aphasia
• Efferent Motor Aphasia
• Little Broca's Aphasia
• Ataxic Aphasia
• Sensorimotor Impairment
• Minimal Brain Dysfunction/ Disorder
• Pure Motor Aphasia
• Speech Sound Muteness

Book: Speaking of Apraxia by Leslie A. Lindsay, R.N., B.S.N.

Black Pepper Prawns

This recipe is a winner, I must share it with you. Each time I make this, they are whipped up while they are hot and saucy. My boys love it.

 

Ingredients:

10-12 pcs of large prawns, shelled and deveined
1 spring curry leaves
2 tbsps oil
fresh coriander for garnish

The Sauce:
3 tbsps oil
4 cloves garlic, chopped (cos I love garlic!)
1 stalk of spring onions
1 tsp chilli paste (store bought or homemade)
1 tbsp miso paste
1 tbsp ginger, chopped
1 tbsp ketchup manis or sweet sauce
1 tbsp oyster sauce
2 tbsps feshly cracked black pepper (spiciness to your taste)
1 cup seafood stock (store bought or homemade)
50g butter
1 tbsp cornstarch in 2 tbsps water

Steps:

In a saucepan, heat up some oil. 

Fry half the chopped garlic, curry leaves and prawns. This will be rather quick as the prawn cooks fast, and you don't want to burn the garlic. Remove the prawns when they change colour. Set aside.

Add in a little more oil, and fry the rest of the garlic and spring onions.
Add in the chilli paste, miso paste and ginger, stir a little.
Add in the ketchup, oyster sauce and black pepper to your taste preference.
Add in the stock and butter, for extra flavour.

Add in the cornstach as a thickening agent, and stir well.
Add in the prawns and stir well to mix the sauce evenly.
Garnish with fresh coriander and serve hot.

Hope you try this recipe. Enjoy!

Childhood Apraxia

It is difficult to narrow down the specifics of Apraxia. You may be unsure as to whether or not your child has it. I did a lot of observation on Ivan, in the early stages, to help me to help him. These observations helped me a lot when we went to professionals for help.

Some books tell us that childhood apraxia are often inherited from the family. But yet others say, that it could be a unique case for any particular child. Nothing is carved in stone, to each its own. Here are a few pointers based on the age of a child, that I think will be helpful to you.

Warning Signs in Infancy (Birth to Age 1)

• There is decreased cooing or babbling. Others comment on what a "quiet baby" you have.
• May have feeding difficulties.
• Your baby's first words appear late (after 14 months) or not at all.
• If first words do appear, they are often "easy," sounds (phonemes) replaced with even easier ones. For example, "hi" might sound like "I," but is used in a greeting context.

Warning Signs in Early Childhood (Age 1 to 3)

• Understands most of what is said, but cannot verbalize well. Large gap between receptive and expressive language.
• Cannot correctly use sounds.
• Difficulty imitating words and phrases
• Messy and distracting eating. Requires prompts to take a bite, chew, swallow, and drink; may overstuff or "pocket" food in the cheeks.
• Hyper-or hyposensitivty to oral activities such as eating different textures of foods or brushing teeth; difficulty identifying an object in the mouth through touch.
• Prosody (melody) of speech is affected. Also may only be able to repeat a word/sound/phrase in the context of a practical routine; may "lose" words, and may have inability to repeat words when asked.
• May have developed elaborate nonverbal or gestural communication.
• Struggles with speech; "searching" (groping) for the right word.
• Leaves sounds out of words (e.g., "cookie" becomes "coo-ie").
• The longer the phrase attempted, the less understandable the child becomes.

Warning Signs at Any Age

Neurological problems (problems that affect cognition, body mechanics, or the sensory system) may occur with a variety of childhood conditions. Those that may accompany CAS include:

• The child often gestures and grunts in lieu of oral communication.
• Gross motor skills (running, jumping, climbing) may also be slow in developing.
• The child appears clumsy or uncoordinated , has poor body awareness (proprioception), or difficulty with fine motor skills (holding a pencil, using scissors)
• IQ testing shows high performance IQ (doing tasks) and low verbal IQ (taking tasks).
• Poor sequencing (the child has difficulties putting a series of movements in order-e.g., figuring out how to get on an unfamiliar piece of playground equipment, or sequencing events to relate to others).
• The child has poor auditory processing (listening and reacting appropriately) and others must repeat themselves often.
• Greater difficulties in learning to read, spell, and write.
• Difficulty with a variety of components of speech (pitch, quality, rate, etc).
• Correctly saying "difficult" words is well...difficult (e.g., "butterfly," "rocking chair," "exercise"). 
• The child can make the sound(s) of many letters when the letter is alone, but when combined in a sentence, will not be able to say it.
• Limited (correct) use of vowels and consonants
• May have developed elaborate nonverbal and gestural communication.
• Family history of delayed language development, as well as family propensity to have other learning problems.

Book: Speaking of Apraxia by Leslie A. Lindsay, R.N., B.S.N.

I really hope that the information we share with you, are useful to you and your family.

Speech Langauge Disorder- Apraxia

When we got wind of Ivan's challenges, I became frantically, looking for answers. Or rather, would I honestly, admit that I was looking for a cure. I just could not wrap my head around the idea that he had something we could not fix. The normalcy as we knew it in our lives, had been wrecked forever.

I tried to establish a routine for Ivan, and soon it became a night ritual for me. Peter had started to take overseas job projects, leaving me and the two boys alone. So, I would settle the boys both in the same room. First we would have Oreos and Milk, then we would go to bed, followed by soft instrumental music playing in the background. I say a night time prayer and tuck the boys in. El had always been rather independent and didn't like the mushy good nights. But Ivan would want me to sit by his side. I would sit in and watch him drift off to sleep. Once they were down for the night, my routine continues, as I broke down in tears and poured out my pain and anger. After a good cry, I would take a deep breathe and go over to my room and start reading and researching. The routine grew on me, and I would say that I found it healthy to let it out on a regular basis. One night, I stumbled on this article on Apraxia. I saw many symptoms that I related with, I figured that Ivan had this condition.

I came to know that autism was a landlord that had many other co-occupants too. And one of them in Ivan's case was Apraxia. Here are some info, that could help you know what it is.

"Apraxia - a neurological disorder that occurs when a child is unable to execute speech movements- the specific sequence of movements that results in proper speech- because of problems with coordination and motor planning. Apraxia does not involve muscle weakness. The child's brain is unable to plan and order motor activities so that the mouth can form the correct shapes to form words. The apraxic child knows what he wants to say, but his mouth isn't getting the correct messages to be physically able to say the desired words or sentences."

Within apraxia itself, there are two kinds, oral apraxia and verbal apraxia.

"Oral apraxia affects the child's ability to move his or her mouth muscles for intent other than speech, e.g., coughing or blowing out birthday candles."

"Verbal apraxia is identified when the child's ability to sequence speech sounds is impaired, again, not resulting from muscle weakness."

credits for picture

Book: Alphabet Kids: From ADD to Zellweger Syndrome by Robbie Woliver  

A Mother's Story

Look at this picture, the mama protects her little ones. Likewise, so do we. Mothers of children with special needs are like her. Tender and loving to our little ones, but we can tear you into pieces too. Here is a story of a loving mother, she shares her experience in her own words.

  ------------------------------------

My son has Aspergers.

Such a simple statement but it has impacted our lives so much. I have avoided writing this, pushing it all the way to the end of my TO-DO list for the last month because truly, sometimes even thinking about it can hurt. It is like opening a can of worms. I fell into a deep dark hole when we first found out about him and it took me a very long time to crawl out of it and just live again. So I was not too keen to revisit those “dark hole” years.

In this short entry, I will write about the early years after discovering my son’s condition – the struggle and the reactions from those around us and also the strategies we used to help him - and ourselves.

When I use the term ‘us’, I am referring to my husband and I. When we found out we were pregnant shortly after the wedding more than a decade ago, I was overwhelmed. I was fresh out of university, just started my first job and just married a stranger (mine was an arranged marriage haha!). So when my precious little one was born, amidst the flurry of managing a new job, new marriage, new house, new set of family members and new everything, I did not really pay much attention as to whether he was developing according to a neurotypical’s developmental milestones. 

When he did not seem to like my cuddles, I thought maybe I was not touching him right. When he still did not talk at 18 months, my in-laws said boys develop speech later, so – OK. However, when he was still walking on tiptoes at 30 months and he had huge tantrums over something as minor (to me, at least) as the weather or food texture, I hit the jam break. I have heard of the ‘Terrible Two’, but I could sense that something was not really right. And true enough, I soon got a call from the day care centre which I have enrolled him in just a couple of months earlier. Apparently, he had been displaying ‘certain odd behaviours’ in class, e.g. walking around the classroom, disinterested in lessons, rolling and pressing himself against the floor, licking the chalkboard and refusing the food offered during breaks – escalating into screaming fits if the food contained chopped fruits and vegetables. They thought he just needed adjusting but it had been three months and they said the staff could not handle him. So they told me to withdraw him.

I think that was the turning point for me. I began really observing him and reading up on a neurotypical’s developmental milestones, and that was when it dawned on that my little darling was not ‘normal’. As if coping with that was not difficult enough, the comments from others started coming in – ‘Why does he walk like that?’, ‘Why does he behave like that? You should teach your son to behave, you know.’ To cut a long story short, I did not know what to do with my adorable little gem. I became depressive, quit my job and cut off all contacts except with my mother. I could remember one very low point during that period when I was alone at home with him, trying to manage a tantrum. I was so frustrated with him that I just packed my little monster into a carton box in a bid to contain him. Yes, I was crazy and desperate. And yes, I tore up the box and took him out the very next minute.

Anyway, after the initial drama, thank goodness my mum and the never-say-die part of me eventually took charge. We consulted a pediatrician who worked with us to manage my little sweetheart. At that point, no specific diagnosis was made but the doctor identified issues that he was having, primarily sensory and social ones. (The diagnosis was only made when my son was six, as we were debating whether he should be in mainstream or a special school. Anyway, the final diagnosis was mild Aspergers so he is now in mainstream.) He was aversive to many textures, especially furry, hairy and woolly ones. And he had vestibular issues. He got cranky and started getting nausea when in moving vehicles or when taking rides. And yes, he basically lives in a world of his own. At about three years old, he could already talk but he still pulled at my hand to get my attention. And he showed no inclination to interact with his peers of the same age.

The doctor referred us to a slew of support services and in the end, I chose to focus on occupational therapy (OT) for his sensory issues and social play groups with two different centres to encourage social interaction. We also placed him in a day care facility which was equipped with the trained professionals to manage children with special needs. When he was five, I also embarked him on the Kumon journey. I know that not everyone is a Kumon fan. I just felt that their learning style suited my son. It was very structured and time-controlled, the steps are very systematic and predictable and the repetitive practices helped to reinforce his learning. Also, Kumon helped prepare him for the eventual school syllabus so that he already has a preview of the content to be taught prior to the topic being taught in class. Believe me, it helped tremendously with his self-confidence. Beyond all these sessions, based on the recommendations of the OT and teachers, we also engaged in external activities to help him generalize the skills he acquired during the school and therapy sessions. So lots of experimentation with different textures of food, clothing and tactile materials. And loads of vestibular stimulation in the form of rides in amusement parks and in cars, buses and planes even. And when he grew older, we started him on social stories and social scripts to help him along with his interaction with his peers. Visual schedules work great to help him structure his day and to promote predictability. We used to have it on cards and notebooks for him but when he grew older and got a bit self-conscious about his schedules, we recently got him a handphone so that he can have his schedule in the handphone. More age- and socially-appropriate, we thought. Recently, he told us he has a best friend. I was ecstatic. I mean – my ‘live in my own world and talk all day about my LEGO and World War II obsessions’ son, has a best friend?! WOW! 

So during one of the school events when we were in his school, he introduced his best friend to us and I could have hugged that wonderful boy for giving my son a chance at friendship. Well, there are hiccups. My son tells me that some days, he is more comfortable texting rather than talking directly to his friend so they text to each other even when they are face to face sometimes. Oh well – I guess we can work on that.

 

So you see, we were in denial for quite some time, but for the last few years, we learnt to accept - with a good understanding of his condition, being kind and tolerant – not just with him but also with ourselves and with others, and we used humour - in a kind way. I sometimes teased him that he is taking up my talk time when he talks non-stop about his World War II stuff and I still offer him hugs and do not get upset when he does not return or does not seem to want it. But every time he returns a hug, which is becoming more often these days, my heart melts. 

I also think it is important to have realistic expectations. My son will sit for the PSLE next year. My husband and I have had discussions with him on his grades and together, we have set high but realistic, achievable goals for his PSLE. This is because, even as I make accommodations for his special needs, I need him to know that he cannot and should not use his condition as an excuse to not push himself to greater heights and excel. 

I do all these because I will eventually move to my next stage of intervention with him – empowerment. We will all die someday. So before that time comes, I need my young man to not only be able to manage himself, but to eventually be independent and empowered enough to lead  a meaningful life, even when I am no longer with him. This may sound cliché but I want my son to not see the disabilities, but to be thankful for his abilities and celebrate and capitalise on those. And that is the same mind-set that I carry with me in my work with special needs now. I mean, God made all of us unique and wonderful, didn’t He? So we should likewise carry on with his work and let the world see what wonderful beings our individuals with special needs are. Yep, they truly are a WONDER.

Thank you.

Special thanks to this beautifully-spirited mum, who chose to share her heartwarming story with all of us. She chooses to remain anonymous, as she blesses us with her story.