PSLE Results???

Today, here in Singapore the PSLE results were out. I chanced upon the statues updates on Facebook by my friends, and that's when I realized something. Should Ivan still be in the mainstream, he would be awaiting his results too. That would have been an awesome milestone.

But I have no regrets. Ivan is doing well, where he is right now. He is blossoming at his own pace and we are very proud of him. This year Ivan received three honorary awards and a fat cheque too. Looking back, I would not have change anything about his journey. He is where is should be. Academically challenged but emotionally happy and has such a joyful outlook towards life.

His future to me, is a huge question mark. But I know that at every turn, God goes before us and has the door held open for us. In faith, we take the next steps...

Snippets - Rest & Relax

"Downtime is key, for both you and your child. We lay out many options for therapies and activities in this book, but do remember to take a breather now and then. A little R and R from the battle is important."

- 1001Tips For The Parents Of Autistic Girls, Tony Lyons

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Announcement

I have been so busy lately, with our move, that I hardly have time to blog and share. Lots are happening these days and I will share as soon as I get the chance. In this post, I wish to share something with all of you. Before, I started Ripplezblue, I was busy "baking up" diaper cakes and hampers (Hartwarmers), that I created from home. My business was a doing well, and I enjoyed every master piece, I made. But with the introduction of our latest bundle of joy, I was faced with a problem. I could no longer hand deliver these precious creations. That put a very long pause on my business. Not wanting to let it go, I shelved it for a couple of months. In the meantime, I started Ripplezblue, for me to work on from home. It was something, for me, my outlet.

Getting to the point, somewhere in July this year, I heard that my sister was looking to expand her online party store. She was in search of a creative personnel. So we discussed the possibilities of merging my gifts with her party supplies, and it was seem to be promising. We took baby steps into getting this new venture to suit both our styles and talents. After months of discussion and planning, we started it off and had a picnic cum outdoor photo shoot on 1st October 2013. It was a success and I am glad to share with you, that the best is yet to come. 

I would be shifting to my new home (and my new office) in about a weeks time. I am looking forward to sharing much more with you from there.

Do check out our store at http://beautifulrevelry.com/

Raspberry Love

Today, I introduced little Iggy to raspberries. He loved it and I am so glad that I started his diet with fruits and vegetables first, rather than rice. Here's a bowl of fresh raspberries.

Here, it is pureed and mixed with healthy four grain organic cereals.

 

It is an overall, very healthy and great tasting naturally. 

Try it and see your baby grow healthy and love food in its most natural form.

Snippets - Get Down & Dirty

"Down and dirty. All kids need a chance to be carefree and playful. Let her run around and make a mess in a sandbox or dirt; deal with the mess later."

- 1001Tips For The Parents Of Autistic Girls, Tony Lyons
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NO Expectations, NO Disappointments

Here, is a cute picture I found, recently, Ivan was Christmas shopping we us at Compass point that Christmas. My little Prince with this crown, yes, I am one of those mums that allows my kid to wear a crown since he likes it. And to get him to feel comfortable, I would wear one along with him. Many people, have told us that they had no clue that Ivan had autism. Today, things look normal and fine, but years ago... that was not the case.

When I discovered that autism was invading Ivan's life, I guess, I had to deal with not only my own set of expectations but also those of our extended family members. I always thought that when push comes to shaft, I would turn to family for support and strength. I never realized that Peter and I was all alone on  this journey.

When we had our first born entered our lives, we felt so blessed. Both our families chipped in and helped us out always. He was a typical child and life was good. But when they found out on Ivan's condition, the

found it hard to understand him. He was seem as a child with a defect.

It was a very emotional time for me. I was sad. I was angry. I was confused. All I knew was that I was struggling and I needed help. Peter was struggling too, in his own way. There was an invisible tension and a huge gap between us. We knew we were there for each other and loved each other, but we both understood, that we needed to grief privately. At that point in time, I was angry with them for not being supportive. But now, I have grown and I understand that their ignorance got the better of them. Peter, taught me a valuable lesson, "Never expect too much from anyone, that way they cannot disappoint you."

Some professionals we met told us that, we should make an effort to talk to our extended families to get them to understand. I tired that, but it didn't really help. We were only starting to understand what autism was, and unless they wanted too, we would take a long time to explain stuff to them. Time that we could use to help Ivan instead.

Bread And Butter

It's been some time now, that Ivan has been making his breakfast  all by himself. I had to step it up when I became pregnant with Iggy. I wanted Ivan to be independent and not depend on me for his basic needs. So ever since day one, he had chosen two slices of bread with a load of Nutella, an overload actually.

 

We all love to have fresh white Gardenia bread, but wanting to eat more healthy, I sometimes mix it up. Expecting Ivan, to react to the change in bread, I was surprised, when he didn't react. He simply opened the wholemeal bread from the packaging and served himself two slices. From there, I explored with other brands too. It was progressing well but the Nutella had to stay as his constant. 

So every morning he would have made himself two slices of Nutella sandwiches. This morning, however, I was totally taken by surprise, when I found him having bread and butter. It was an beautiful surprise, he was trying out new things and this was just another example.

He opened the fridge and took out the butter...

Then he spread loads onto the bread and enjoyed it for breakfast. And this, was a new treat for me. I am so excited and scared at the same time, to see what new experiences are to come.

Packing Up

The Gomez's are moving, we have considered many pros and cons, and found that it was time for us to move into a bigger place. With the addition of Iggy into our lives and the new projects that we are looking into, we will need a bigger venue to hold the gatherings that we are planning. 

Having lived in the North for so many years, I know we will miss much as we move to Central Singapore. I know I will miss the wonderful cool breeze and the park I run in every morning for the past few years. Not forgetting the playgrounds, my first two boys tumbled and scraped their knees on, in their toddler years. The beach that was near home and the shopping malls around us. But with improvement comes change, and that change needs delicate balance, especialy for Ivan.

In order to get Ivan on board with the move, I decided to get him to pack up with us. It was so adorable! He packed up all his CDs and DVDs, into mini boxes and did an inventory for each box too.

Involving your child into such transitions are very important. It helps them anticipate the move and have some control on the situation. Just like us, children don't like to feel helpless and vulnerable. They want to know what is to come next and how they can be in control of their surroundings.

When we viewed the place we were buying, we actually asked Ivan which room he preferred and thankfully, both brothers chose different rooms, making it easier for us.

Ivan also gets to choose his furniture and fittings. The paperwork and sale of the property, is almost done and we are getting ready for the transition. I pray a gets on smoothly. I will update you guys, on Ivan's journey into our new home.

Snippets - Emotions

"As a parent, you did not choose to have a boy with autism. However, you can choose how you are going to react and what you are going to do about it. The first step is to acknowledge the emotions you are feeling. Realize that all parents go through these emotions- they are real and unavoidable. These emotions have been likened to the five stages of grief that a person goes through when faced with the death of a loved one. In this case, your son is still here, but what you are mourning is the loss of your expectations, of everything you had hoped and dreamed for with the birth of your son. The second step is learning all you can to help your child recover or reach his full potential"

1001 Tips For The Parenting Of Autistic Boys by Ken Siri

Chantal Sicile-Kira, www.chantalsicile-kira.com

It's Time For A Shirt

It's always outings after outings when my husband gets back in the country for a break. The kids miss him much and want their one to one time alone with him, as much as myself. 

As of late, I have noticed an interesting new thing going on with Ivan. He has been only picking out long sleeve shirts from his shelf, to wear each time we go out. Ivan used to only wear sleeveless t-shirts when he was young, as he had sensory issues. Then we transitioned into the normal short sleeve t-shirts and stayed there for many years. 

The long shelved shirts came much much later on his life. They wear kept for special occasions. But as of this month, most of our outings have been interestingly, attended with a casual smart attire, for Ivan. 

We are glad to see him make changes in his routines and its refreshing to see him try new things.

This one is a very old shirt, which I was surprised, that he could still fit into it.

Here's the same shirt, we wore to church.

And here it is again with a shirt as we head out for pancakes.

Snippets - Let's Play

"Make time for fun. A child coping with autism is still a kid. For both autistic children and their parents, there needs to be more to life than therapy. Find ways to play and have fun together. Don't obsess over whether or not these activities are therapeutic or educational. The important thing is to enjoy your child's company!"

- 1001Tips For The Parents Of Autistic Girls, Tony Lyons

Reprinted with permission from Helpguide.org. See

www.helpguide.org/mental/autismhelp.htm

for additional resources and support.

Blueberries For Little Bub

Berries are a good choice to feed your little ones with. They are bursting with nourishment. It's berry day for little Iggy today. Mama bought blueberries for him to enjoy, although she doesn't fancy them too much.

Wonderful balls of antioxidants.

 

Puréed to perfection for little Iggy to have for lunch.

Now I mix in a little bit of organic cereal that has the blueberry flavor in them.
Feeling nostalgic, as it looks like my favourite childhood dessert - Pulut Hitam.

What does Iggy think of it?

I little sour I guess. But it's alright.

 Happy eating!

Clumsy Child Syndrome

Ever heard of such a Syndrome? Not me. It sounds so strange.

As kids grow up and learn how to manipulate their gross motor skills, they learn how to move around. Some kids are just more clumsy than others. But should there be any concern?

"CCS is obviously more than a child's striking out in a baseball game or every once in a while tripping over his or her own feet- it is about a pervasive and negatively impacting lack of coordination."

 

"Also known as DD or DCD (developmental coordination disorder) or, as the DSM calls it, specific developmental disorder of motor function, CSS is a learning disorder (different than an LD, learning disability) that involves the involves the impairment of movement, although it can involve language, spatial, and thought problems as well. It is often considered a closely related disorder to SID (sensory integration disorder) and NLD (nonverbal learning disorder) and its often diagnosed as such, or vice versa.

Dyspraxia, which is the defining characteristic of CCS, is the difficulty with the entire sequence of a sensory-motor task from initiating it, planing it out, and then carrying  it out."

- Alphabet Kids: From ADD to Zellweger Syndrome by Robbie Woliver 

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Sweets And Health

Being a mum is a very challenging full time job. One with no retirement, seriously! Sometimes, as busy mums, we all cheat our stomachs with sweets when we get hungry.

I ask of you ladies, try not to do so. I have done so, for too many a times. I always have an excuse to do what I do. But as I mature and started reading more on health, I realized what a grave mistake I was making. Thank God, I never got any illness due to that.

It is very, very important that we take good care of ourselves for the sake of our children. I was surprised to find out that our bodies are so intelligent, that it can actually think for itself. Did you know that when you eat regularly, the body stores only a small portion for later, as compared to when you have irregular meals, your body stores more fat. Think about it, when you are not eating regularly, your body fears of when the next replenishment will be, thus, it stores more. Should you eat regular meals the body sees the consistency. Well, to me, that is a pretty smart body we have there. So the next time you skip a meal and stuff down a candy bar, out of convenience, think again. Sweet foods with refined sugars can help you for a while, but what they do is actually raise your blood sugar. Then when you hit a 'brain fog' your blood sugar levels drop and you end up with a negative effect. Such as mood swings, irritability, loss of attention.

To avoid this, I always have little packets of oatmeal cookies in my handbag. I literally look for the ones that are pre-packed with two or three pieces. This way, I don't have to worry if I can't stop for a meal. Running from therapy sessions to work and then for check ups can be very time consuming, and the last thing you want to do is, to look for a healthy place to eat. (me, I would rather kick off my shoes and slouch on the sofa as I relax from a tiring day)

So ladies, the next time you find yourself in a time crunch, reach for a granola bar and some orange juice. Take care of yourself, your children deserve the best of you.

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Snippets - Acceptance

"Accept and love your child for who he is. Rather than focusing how your autistic child is different from other children and what he or she is 'missing' focus on what makes your child happy. Enjoy your kids special quirks, celebrate small success, and stop comparing your child to others - developmentally challenged or not."

Book: 1001Tips For The Parents Of Autistic Boys, Ken Siri

- www.helpguide.org/mental/autism_help.htm

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Did Your Child Tell A Lie?

Many atimes, when a toddler tells you something that is other than the truth, we think that he is telling a lie. Look at it another way, could your child think that he is telling you the truth. The truth that to him happened in his fantasy? Children tend to have a hard time differentiating between fantasy and reality. That be said, see the depth of the situation, is the truth too far fetched or otherwise. Sit your child down, and explain. Ask your child questions such as 

• When did this happen?
• Where did it happen?
• Was anyone else there?
• What did you do after that?
• Are you sure you did not imagine/ dream about this?

The answers to these, should give you a vague idea as to where the truth is coming from. Children can be manipulative to get your attention, support and love. But they are not devious, to scheme lies. The next time, you think your child told a lie, give him the benefit of the doubt, and assess the situation first.

If you are caregiver or teacher, never label a child a liar. Always look into the situation, see if the children understands the difference between fantasy and reality.

"Another sign that children are distinguishing between reality and fantasy is the use of the word "pretend". Parents who introduce a word like "pretend" as they play with their two-year-olds usually find that their children pick up the term quickly. Once the two-year-old is familiar with the term, it becomes easier to discuss situations in which the difference between reality and fantasy is unclear. Imaginary thinking has both the power and limitations. It can create a powerful imaginary experience, but not directly change the real world. As children play out a variety of themes, and as parents talk to them about their pretending, children begin to appreciate this paradox."

Resources: Your Child At Play: Two to Three Years by Marilyn Segal, Ph.D.
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Snippets - Fever

"For fevers over 101 degrees Fahrenheit, treat with a tepid bath or dye free ibuprofen. Fevers, while nerve wracking for new parents, are the response of a healthy immune system reacting to kill off an invading virus through heat."

- "Avoiding Autism" by Anju Usman, MD and Beth C. Hynes, JD, MBA,

The Autism File, Issue 31, 2009.

I chose to share this snippet, since my little Iggy has been under the weather, as he is teething. I used to rush to the doctors when my elder two were babies, but now, I choose to be a little patient and try to turn to the medications, only when I should.

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Too Young For Compassion?

I would love to say that my sister and I are best of friends. We say that I am from the 70's and she is from the 80's. While I was experimenting with Cover Girl, she was playing with crayons. So, as much as we wanted to be in sync, our age brought different interest for each of us. We lead very separate lives, me married and settled down, while she having the time of her life. We only came to find common ground when she embraced motherhood. Finally, we were on the same page. Now, with my third boy, we are able to have play dates together and share a common interest.

She wrote this article to share with all of you out there, her experience with my Ivan. I hope you see yourself in her situation, and step up to help anyone you know, who needs it. She was young and wasn't informed, but you have a chance, learning from our experiences. Make that difference.

"Did becoming an aunt affect how you felt about having children? I was just "too young to care" when I first became an aunt at 16. I had my life ahead of me, and besides it seemed like my sister and my parents - who were first time grandfolks had everything under control.

Control however is an illusion, as I've come to learn after becoming a mother myself. That control slipped right out of my sister's grasp when her second child began displaying signs of regression. "Autism" they called it. I don't quite recall who told me about it, or when I discovered he had it. When I did, it hit me like a storm. How could such a thing happen to us? Barely, and adult, I was under the illusion that we were the 'perfect family' - everything always went according as planned.

He was after all, very special to me. The second child, the shadow of the first. I saw much of myself in him. The first infant who I was allowed to carry, nuzzle, and was old enough to fee and care for. Unknown to me at that time, I had developed a special place in my heart for him.

We didn't have Wikipedia, or much knowledge of Autism back then. All I knew was that my sister would occasionally invite me to follow along for his therapy sessions, or to mind him when she had errands to run. I knew he was changing. Gone were the cuddling days. The next couple of years brought along a typhoon that rip through my idealist image of motherhood.

To make matters worse, my mother's take on his condition aggravated me. Call it lack of education, or perhaps she was lost in a state of ignorance. I found her 'coping' tactics to be utterly inhumane. From rapping tables to get his attention, to stuffing him with food so he'd sit quietly - she, in my opinion, ripped him off his granted childhood everytime opportunity presented itself. We had plentiful of arguments over this where she'd end the conversation by telling me to mind my own business.

Then there are the expected stares, rude remarks, and frightened glances I watched my sister go through - on top of everything else that was bearing down on her. I didn't know how to help. We weren't the huggy sort of family, so enveloping them in a bear hug might not have worked that well.

I eventually moved on with life, and got too busy for family. With the exception of occasions and celebrations, I rarely spent much time with my nephew. He is very much a teenager now- in both size and behaviour. Looking back, there are many things I wish I had done. Why did I not try harder to socialize more with him? Autism, is after all a social disorder. Could I have put in a more conscious effort to shower him with love? Perhaps read up on Autism to learn what are ways I could have taught him essential skills?

The idealist in me thrives on love, while the logical me knows I can't go back and change things, neither can I baby the now-teenage nephew of mine. I still don't know how can I help him. What I do know is that he will always have my respect, love, and acceptance. I don't see him any different from  the rest of my family, despite the society carefully and di0plomaticaly labelling him as a person with 'special needs'. Perhaps the society is right. he is special. He is a human being who isn't afraid to hug someone when they're feeling down, or flash a wide grin when he catches you looking at him, or pat a crying child.

Indeed, in times such as these where stress, hate and anger dictates the media and our minds- my nephew is very very special."

Thanks Ann for your sharing with us.

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My Persistent Boy

Holidays can be tough on kids who need a constant routine. Parents like me, are always stressed out when the holidays begin, as we need to occupy our kids, and deal with the fuss on the change of routine. And if your child is as persistent as mine, trust me you need a holiday. Here, a snap shot at how the June holidays began for me.

It's a Wednesday morning, into the wee hours of the morning. I had just finished feeding Little Iggy and have started to prepare breakfast for the boys to go off to school. For Ivan, it would be the last day of school.

Upon waking him up, I realized that he seem to be in a bad mood. He had proceeded to brush his teeth, but kept walking in a daze. I told him that he had to wash his face, but he kept walking back to the bedroom ignoring me. He never does that. That's when I realized that he was looking too sleepy for anything.

I had sent him to bed early but, I don't really know what time he had settled down. I used to check on him regularly before, but now with baby, I am exhausted. Looking at him, I knew he was in no condition to go anywhere.

I sent him off to bed, and my heart sank. This would mean that for Ivan the school holidays had begun. His school was having a camp the next two days, which Ivan was not attending, so here we go!

El off to school and Ivan back in bed, I decided to crawl back under the sheets again. But just then, Ivan gets up and says that he wants to go to school.

I told him the bus had left and he could go back to school. But he was not listening, now he was insisting on going to school. I hate days like these. They never go well for me and they seem to go on forever.

I send Ivan back to bed again, turned on the aircon to make it cozy for him, but no, he comes out again asking to go to school.

Finally, I told him that I did not want to be disturbed. And that I would talk to him at 9am. The good thing is, with Ivan once you give him a time to get back to him, he will wait and come back to you later. But he will come back and you have to follow through with the "appointment".

Sometimes, it's the little things like this that drain you...

Snippets - Gluten Free Diet

"Changing your child's diet is one or perhaps the most significant thing you can do to impact your child's health. The Gluten-Free/ Casein Free (GF/CF) diet is the most popular, we suggest removal  of soy as soy has similar properties to casein. Beyond this, the specific carbohydrate (SCD) Diet has been effective for those children who did not respond sufficiently to the GF/CF."

- Ken Siri author of 1001 Tips For The Parents Of Autistic Boys

There are many recipes you can find nowadays on a gluten free diet. Your child does not have to necessarily miss out on traditional snacks. C is for cookie, and cookie is one of my favourites. Your kids can enjoy cookies too, even with a gluten free diet, try these. 

click here for the recipe