Separation Anxiety Disorder

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When you have a newborn, you will realize that once he gets to recognize you, they will cry when you leave the room. He cries due to the anxiety that you would not return. As he grows older, he will understand that when you leave the room, you are not gone forever. He needs the security and the reassurance that he will not be neglected, maybe it's in our primal instinct.

If you have had the experience of sending your little one to school, you know how difficult it is for both of you. As an early childhood educator, I have witness many children go through the phase of separation anxiety. They scream, yell, kick and cry until they tire themselves eventually, and it starts all over again  the next day. All children, take a different amount of time to understand the concept of mummy and daddy leaving them at school, to go off to work. For a little one, it is a concept far too difficult to comprehend. 

He wonders why, why do you need to go to work? 

Why do you need to leave him at school? 

Why can't you take him along? 

Why would you take to so long to come back for him?

The most important thing, I realize as a teacher is the importance of reassurance. Reassuring the child that the parents are coming to fetch them soon, helps immensely. Then, if the child is able to understand, state a time that the parent most likely would arrive. This way the child will ease into the separation from family and the anxiety will diminish.

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Sometimes, its not the child that has the anxiety but the parent. I have witness, children who have settled down fine, and the mothers, crying outside before they leave. So, if this is so common, why is it a disorder you may ask. Will it only becomes cautionary if it's as follows.

"According to the DSM, separation anxieties become a disorder when the child's anxiety or fear causes anguish and starts to affect social, academic, or for adolescents, work-related situations, and this anxiety lasts at least one month." 

What are the Sign & Symptoms to look out for?

• apathy
• aversion to school
• bedtime fears
• clinging to parents
• crying
• depression and sadness
• desire to sleep in parents' bed
• difficulty concentrating
• difficulty falling asleep
• dizziness
• excessive worry
• fear of carpooling
• fear of getting sick on school bus or in school
• fear of meeting new people
• feeling unsafe being alone
• headaches
• hiding, especially behind parent
• nausea
• shadowing parents
• shortness of breath
• sleep disorders such as inability to sleep and nightmares
• stomachaches
• sweating
• tantrums at school
• trembling
• unreasonable fear of harm or death
• unwillingness to interact with anyone other than parents
• wanting to be held
• whining
• withdrawal

My first two boys settled down fine in school, but now I have little Iggy. I hope, I do not end up being one of the mothers that are crying outside the school.
 

Book: Alphabet Kids: From ADD to Zellweger Syndrome by Robbie Woliver  

Do You Know Them All?

It can be very scary, when you are seated at the doctor's office and you are awaiting for him to tell you, "It's all going to be alright. your child will grow out if his condition." OR
"Your child is fine, there is nothing wrong with him, give him time."

But instead you hear, "I think your child has a condition called autism."

My eyes opened wide, and I felt my jaw hang loose for a second. I tool a slow swallow and grasped for air. Then I asked, "What is autism?", "Is he sick?", "Is he retarded?"

The doctor gave me a fairly brief explanation and sent me off. I felt numb all over, my heart was beating so fast, as if I was running a marathon. I stood motionless for awhile. I felt a surge of emotions. I knew one that I could identify was - devastation. I knew that Ivan had been diagnosed with something bad. But how bad, was bad....?

I went on the internet and tired to equip myself with the new term... to my surprise, I saw all these terms.

• nonverbal learning disorder
• attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder
• attnetion deficit disorder
• Tourette's
• obsessive-compulsive disorder
• sensory processing disorder
• gastrointestinal problems affecting behavior
• mental retardation

Only when I found out that my little boy had certain needs, did these unusual terms became visible to me. The only thing they seem to have in common is "disorder".

If you are a new parent, being exposed to these terms, don't be afraid. They cannot defeat you or your child. Be brave and read more,  you will soon find them to be just a bunch of words. Equip yourself with as much knowledge as you can.

In the months to come, you will find that we will comb through each topic to give you a better insight on these terms.

From Diagnosis To Prognosis

Have you ever wished that you had a crystal ball, that could give you answers. Hmmm... wouldn't that be nice. Unfortunately, that isn't the case. One never knows what the future holds for our family and ourselves. Especially, when you have a child who has special needs, you worry about everything, the future holds for him. Just like the picture below, a diagnosis was given and my world looked just like that in the ball, upside down!

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When you have just received your child's diagnosis, it can be overwhelming. The rational thing to do, would be to see what the next step is. But I know I didn't. Immediately, I sought for a prognosis.

What's A Prognosis ?

Wikipedia states that "Prognosis (Greek πρόγνωση - literally fore-knowing, foreseeing) is a medical term for predicting the likely outcome of one's current standing." 

The Online Dictionary states two examples

a. A prediction of the probable course and outcome of a disease.

b. The likelihood of recovery from a disease.

No professional would be able to give you a prognosis based on the immediate diagnosis. You child would be part of the spectrum, either mild, moderate, severe or profound. Based on the diagnosis, you have just received, it is impossible to predict the outcome. There are no equipments to measure your child's advancements. No crystal ball to give you a definite answer.

Honestly, at that point of time, I wasn't really bothered about all the details, all I wanted to know was one thing. And that one thing was, would my son snap out of this? Would he be able to lead a normal life? Attend school like his brother? Have a family one day? I wanted so much for someone to say "Yes, this is just a temporary situation." But that was not the case. Reality bites, that's true. And it hurt, it hurt bad.