Upon the arrival of a diagnosis, there comes an involuntary surge of emotions. They may not be kind and may come one after another, or they may hit you a couple at a time. We are all different, and we process information, experiences and pain
at a different pace. Our emotions may get the best of us at times. I feel that lady in the painting, with the colours signifying my blast of emotions.
- Disbelief
May be the first you could experience. Could it be true? Could my child really have this condition? Could he just be a late bloomer? Could the doctor be wrong? Maybe he is too young to be tested?
- Confusion
Now which do I chose? Who is the best? Am I doing the right thing? Can I afford all this? Can I continue with my job? When do I get help from? Who can help me?
- Denial
It's not happening to me? It will pass? I just have to go on with my life and it will disappear. Maybe if I just act blur, it will pass.
- Information overdose
Articles on the internet, so much of terminology. Books, information from cover to cover. Blogs of people and professionals. Advice from caring friends and relatives who may or may not know what they are talking about.
- Numbness
A surge of so much of emotions, that the only thing I can feel is numb. Some how the numbness, is less painful. I would rather linger in the numbness then to face reality.
- Isolation
Leave me alone! I can't take this anymore! I just want to be left alone. I need some time to myself to process all this. I don't feel like talking to anyone... forever!
- Loss
My child will never have a normal life. The hopes and dreams I have for him are all dead. Mourning the loss of what could be. My perfect dream child is gone.
- Shock
Oh my God, this is really happening, to us. A rise in heartbeats and you start to hyperventilate. You need a hug badly. You may be faint hearted and collapse when anxiety hits you too hard.
- Anger
A sense of rage. An anger that for some reason, you cannot direct. You feel that you are angry with anyone and everyone. You are always angry, with the universal for just being. You could be angry family that never was they to help you. Or maybe with God for not removing the situation.
- Guilt
Eventually, the anger directs you yourself. Did I do something wrong? Did I cause this? Could I have done something differently? You wallow in guilt and self pity for a while.
- Sadness
Lots of tears, they stream down abundantly.
All these are legitimate emotions that you can feel. Don't feel bad. Given the situation and responsibilities that you are shouldering, you can cut yourself some slack. Allow yourself some alone time to "lick your wounds". But be sure to pick yourself up when you are done. I always tell myself this, when I burn out, "You have already hit rock bottom, you can't possibly, go any lower. The only way to move is up." This always helps me, to pick myself up.
I would advice you to cry your heart out, smother yourself with chocolates and wine. Run a long warm, scented bath. Take deep breathes and tell yourself, you can do it. Have a good nap and wake up to a brand new day.
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